As another Flint self proclaimed but not quite comfortable with others declaring me as feminist, I think we expect the 'superwomen' mantra of ourselves. I can't quite reconcile the women my mother is with what I expect from myself. I'm deeply passionate about social change but exceedingly unconfidant that I could excecute what my mother did with career and children. So I'm contemplating ditching the mother part in order to fufil my other passions. Not that I think any less of my mother for choosing the other route. The next day of course I will question my motives and declare myself a coward for not trying... fighting the superhero expection in ourselves is a battle daily.
I can totally identify with Erin's comment. I'm probably her mom's generation, and I had a supermom before the concept existed -- even though my mother had no feminist consciousness. She worked because she wanted to, but she also did all the domestic things a mother in the '50s was supposed to do: cook, clean, knit, sew, tend the garden, belong to the PTA, take folk dancing lessons, etc. etc. So naturally, I knew it was possible to combine career and family. But as a teenager and young adult, I also felt that my mother had made many mistakes, and if even supermom wasn't perfect, I certainly couldn't be. So that's why I decided in my 20s that I wouldn't have any kids.Paradoxically, it was women's liberation that freed me from the notion that I had to be a superwoman to have a child. For me, women's liberation, which only got to be called feminism in the late '70s, wasn't about having to do everything; it was about not being limited to some other-defined "women's world." It's about being entitled to have one's own ideas, being entitled to change society so everyone has more freedom. If you want to be a superwoman and you have the energy and talent for it, fine. But superwoman isn't the goal; it's only one of many possibilities.
In high school I cruelly berated my mother who ran a household & took care of 4 daughters including myself. She never held it against me, which showed that she was a stronger woman than I.I've since apologized for mocking her choice &, though we are very different women, we are now friends who respect each other.I agree that women don't HAVE to do everything but that they should stay true to who they are over everything.
Post a Comment